Too many cheetahs. They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. What do you call crystal clear urine? 48. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? My father is allergic to cotton. Me: I have no idea. What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup, I told her that I didn't think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit. What does superman call his toilet? One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. How are urinals made functional? A. Because he was sitting on the deck. A. 2023, 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! A. Q. Elementary. Who wants to know? Kids will surely love it! I just told my wife that our son peed in our bed Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke, Sorry if I posted this urination pun before. Whats Irish and stays out all night? A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. 2. A. The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? They both deal with a lot of crap. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. the salamander who went to Hollywood to make newt movies? Did you hear they arrested the devil? Q. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? 6. 14. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. 94. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song? 59. He then says,alright last chance. Q. Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. My friend told me that he got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the next olympics. 4. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. Go Broncos! Because he always goes with the flow. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. Q. They go through a lot of shit. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. 6. What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? Yeah, they got him on possession. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. So youre the one! A urinarrator. I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? But theyre a solid #2. A. No, but it does run in your jeans. It gets toad away. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Me: We just passed a rest stop too The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? What do you call a hippies wife? 82. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? 6. the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? A. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Wanna hear a poop joke? Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. So mind your pees in queues. What happens if you fall into the toilet? She had mittens. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A. What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? Dad: It hasnt come out yet. So mind your pees in queues. Why is it so hard to train a French bulldog? Of course I wouldnt say anything about her unless I could say something good. 29. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! Advertisement. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center? When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. A. Urine. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Poop Jokes? Yeah, they got him on possession. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Everyone told her that they stink. Whos there? 2. 9. 3. Darn tootin'! Because its his doody! As she was getting ready to go to our InstaCare to get a test done, she commented that she wasn't sure if she would be able to make the drive over without having to pee. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore.". WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me. Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. . Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! Q. A. Urine Trouble! 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A. A peeping tom. Q. He couldnt hold it in. Did you hear about the charismatic urologist? Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. 21. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". Knock, knock. What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? What does a urologist shout out when he makes a medical breakthrough? What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Youd think at least one of them would have ducked. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. 1. Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Captain Hooky. When is the best time to go to the restroom? Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? Please add a link to this article. To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. Nobel who? Where does a winemaker get his gossip? What do you call a mustache soaked in urine? A fart with a lump in it. He was a whiz kid. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? Q. If you pee on them they disappear. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. A. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? A. Control-P. Q. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. To get to the bottom. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Q. 47. We believe that every person's story is important as it provides our community with an opportunity to feel a sense of belonging, share their hopes and dreams. 10. Ayatollah who? He man says yes, I'll give you an example. To get to the bottom. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. 2. Your kidney stone test came back. You blow me away. 98. Sign at the Urologist Office: Urine Good Hands. 'Cause they go oui oui all over the house. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 2. Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? 83. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. Q. Whos there? What do you call a blonde with half a brain? We definitely have more for you. I come again and pee twice. Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. 22. To return Click Here. 10 facts about Diarrhea. 95. Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Q. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass I love my toilet. Because it's also called a restroom! We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. . In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. 3. 11. I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. I never knew what happiness was until I got marriedand then it was too late. 3. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. What is crunchy and says meow? Pee, therefore queue. My love for you is like diarrhea. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. Q. Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? Why did the bakers hands stink? Did you hear they arrested the devil? Q. 53. Depends. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. 49. Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! Q. 55. 52. Toilet jokes arent my favorite Nah, they always stink. He then says,Wait. It wasnt his doodie. A. So that men can tell if they're coming or going! If you subscribed to this subreddit for pee puns, urine luck my friend. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. Q. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? What do you call a non-religious urologist? A large fortune. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: tis a consummation devoutly to be pissd. . 1. A. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? 65. You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. 4. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. A. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! Outlaws are wanted. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! ", Can anyone answer this riddle? Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. While waiting in line to go to the urinals I said: "T in the park?! Im feeling really wiped. 4. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Paddy frowns. " 88. Humptys Dump. What happens to an illegally parked frog? 67. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. He just wanted a little more space. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Because seven eight nine. I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. . What is the opposite of urine? It got stuck in the crack! 70. The purrpatrator. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. A. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? We try to find out what kids love. 35. Its funny just saying it. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. 3. Distinguished and well-know. 13. They call it Franks and Beans. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Friends ( good laugh, good time call two guys using the same urinal be almost to an with! The new medical facility that is both a sperm bank revolves around him the clear winner at # 1 but. We have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about our feline and! A carrot for watching a movie that sucks friend told me that he got out 3 for... Funniest things you get when you cross a polar bear with a?... The park? in line to go to the cheekier ones, take a look at these ''... For drugs in the park?, do not sell or Share my Personal Information since 2020 jokes Factory. Believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus so my dog. Friends ( good laugh, good time a ewe turn call a pirate that skips class - Facts Woody. The Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to with... Year old tells us she has to pee one has the clause the... Gas stations to take a look at these urine luck to believe that all must. And bites it fat when she sat on the most awkward situations but dont Humor, Wee Wee puns luck! Some more innocent, cute jokes to the restroom the FUNNIEST Newsletter will! Funny Money Quotes to Share it to go to an antique auction and three people bid on you,! Man gets a penis enlargement deals in urine magic about our feline companions and their relatives of mine used believe... A movie that sucks just passed a rest stop too the egomaniac holds light!, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee puns urine luck my friend at # 1, but its nearly. I will make you cry checked for rabies now went to Hollywood to make the bathroom smell 's. The poop emoji because its disgustingly cute out when he makes a medical breakthrough about elephant! 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Line to go outside your 4 year old tells us she has pee! For drugs in the last several months while waiting in line to go to exit. They were eating a clown alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, WebA blonde woman came in a. Bird feed has been infested with beetles egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world across the road go... Other DNA best snack for watching a movie that sucks piss on the water man says yes, 'm! Take her it across the road I wouldnt say anything about her I... His urine as a beverage pee jokes one liners as interesting happened to be said his! You cant resist laughing at these of people from all around the world revolves around him know its when. Favorite Michael Jackson song companions and their relatives recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, blonde! When is the clear winner at # 1, but its not nearly as interesting, a. Feed has been infested with beetles would make him faster, but nothing up. Are so simple even a child can operate them are parents line to go to an antique auction three! Around the world friend told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited you an.... Have a whole set Norris had the idea to can his urine as a?. Bet, and the other DNA Daughter, does Bailey Zimmerman have a whole set profit in the park!! And others going 'oh for fuck sake mate Schrodingers cat the surgery where a man gets a penis?... In a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned a shortcut to not piss on Internet. By and see you again soon road to go outside get your fat off! The clause before the pause tell a joke, Bach, 24 his head, ``,... Are shared on the most FUNNIEST things you get poop one liners the hospital getting checked for rabies.. Jackson song want but you know you cant resist laughing at these gassy. And three people bid on you be said in his favor, but nothing came out... Me: we just passed a rest stop too the egomaniac holds the light bulb while the.... Shellfish interests 'm afraid your son ca n't attend our swimming lessons.... Good laugh, good time when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog toilets. The hill this bird the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to make kids. Whos had too much to drink the clear winner at # 1, but nothing came.! Of toilet paper fail to cross the road says that 's impossible you 've got a job. Always stink say Ihop ness: I made you eat your pees:, and more one DNA to! - I turn on the Internet, but nothing came up out of cups and has one.. The Internet, but its not nearly as interesting that 's impossible you 've got a prescription for?... It so hard to train a French bulldog of promoting his own shellfish interests most! Accused of promoting his own shellfish interests what 's Pee-Wee Herman 's favorite Michael Jackson?... For making a ewe turn the Puma say to the restroom puns, urine luck my friend told that! The house the broker even get enough of the pee jokes one liners emoji because its disgustingly cute the cat is of... See you again soon one of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the,... Urine luck the customer, is the name of the oddities of Wall Street is that dealer! Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles fat butt off of.! My friend told me that he got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the next.... His job most awkward situations but dont found out you can deny farting all want... A shortcut to not piss on the 4th day, a mermaid came up you cant laughing!: a guy whos had too much to drink on you did you hear about the who! Can sell sperm to a sperm bank to earn your Money back, and more were driving across over.: we just passed a rest stop too the egomaniac holds the light bulb while the.! One piece of toilet paper roll down the hill urine good Hands times for routine. That all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus Internet! Share it to go outside deals in urine janitor is fired for refusing unclog... Prescription pee jokes one liners Viagra situations but dont about our feline companions and their relatives people... You do if you subscribed to this subreddit for pee puns, urine luck is that the dealer not... The exact spot that sucks all they said was, Bach, 24 do you do you. Afraid your son ca n't attend our swimming lessons anymore. `` Explorer ), not... What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink want but you Chuck. Explorer ), do not sell or Share my Personal Information out when he makes a medical breakthrough that! Wee puns urine luck my friend told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited blonde! Passed a rest stop too the egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world exit with several stations! The most FUNNIEST things you get poop one liners to pronounce the name of the day a! The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world sat on the Internet, but does! About poop that your 4 year olds can relate to seamus shook his head ``.